When things aren’t going so well at work, it’s probably a matter of things, well, not mattering.

Failure to recognize, understand, and bridge the gap between what matters to you, your team, your clients, and your organization leads to a waste of time, effort, and money. Even worse, it could result in reduced credibility and morale, and increased frustration and tension due to mismatched wants and needs.

While the initial gap between what matters to each party may be small, people and situations change constantly. If we aren’t paying attention to these changes, common interests will decrease. The greater the divergence, the harder and more important it will be to bridge the gap.

Some problems when “What Matters” is misaligned:

Unclear mutual expectations leading to confusion and frustration
Shaky foundation for building true partnerships around common goals
Us-Them mindset leading to contention in relationships
Individuals just going through the motions without actively engaging
Individuals seeking opportunities to serve or be served elsewhere
Core needs remain unmet leading to lack of fulfillment
Different values and team cultures within overall organization culture
Wasted time, energy, and money

If what you’re working on doesn’t have enough personal value, you’re probably tolerating many aspects of what you’re doing, and not being at your creative best. The same applies to everyone else on your team. And, if what matters to you differs vastly from what matters to them, you’re going to have to work much harder at motivation.

If the solutions or products you’re delivering aren’t adding great value to your internal or external clients, chances are they’re not adding real value to your organization either.

If your organization is not meeting the needs of employees or tapping into their core strengths, turnover and disengagement will be higher.

How big or small is the current intersection of what matters to everyone?

The answer depends on the nature of each relationship. The shared purpose between you and your team might be very strong, but misaligned with your clients. The core values stated on your organization’s website may only be modeled by a small few.

Unfortunately, many of us aren’t taking time regularly to mind the gap. We get so mired in the current task at hand, that we forget to look up to see what might have changed. Or, we see it, but feel powerless or unmotivated to tend to it.

How to bridge the gap

There are probably many ways and here’s a suggestion.

First take a close look at What Matters to each, starting with YOU!

Start with You

This means doing some personal reflection on your own values, strengths, weaknesses, and new aspirations. If you haven’t done this recently, it’s definitely worth doing. Maybe you already have a good sense of these and you’re feeling good about where you’re at. Or, maybe you’re finding that your professional life no longer energizes you, and you don’t know why or how to fix it. Make notes, take an assessment, or ask people who will give you honest feedback.

Then, the Others

Then, take a close look at What Matters to each member of the team that you work with, including your team members, your manager, your peers, your delivery partners, and your clients. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but if done artfully and with sincerity, you’ll also build more mutually trusting relationships with each of them.

Lastly, Facilitate Gaining Greater Alignment Across

Armed with a deeper understanding and stronger relationships, you’re now in a better position to help bridge the gap across all areas. I say “help” because for this to be successful, you’ll need to collaborate with people who feel as strongly as you do about needing and wanting to make it happen, and are willing to give you real support.

When you accomplish greater alignment in What Matters to EVERYONE, that’s where MAGIC Happens!

You can certainly start to facilitate convergence of only two groups if you’ve got clarity on what matters to those two groups already.

Start with the pair where you have the most influence or chance of success. Perhaps it’s between you and your manager, or between you and the client with whom you’ve built a great relationship. Bridging the gap with one pair is going to help bridge it with the others. You’ll have shared reasons (and “allies”) for bridging the gap with others.

The bridging approach for each pair is probably going to be different based on the pair and the insights gained about where the gaps exist. For example, team building and team collaboration efforts will help with you and your team, while skilled requirements analysis, solution alternatives, and prioritization will help with your team and your clients, negotiation skills will help with you and your clients, and culture and values conversations will help with you and your organization.

Magic Happens With Practice

Like any magic trick, there’s a lot of trial and error before the magic happens. There will be times when if feels impossible or that it’s not worth it. That’s OK. You will grow through trying.

If you realize it matters to you and no-one else, maybe it’s time to find a situation where you have a better chance of alignment.

The goal is to thrive and be energized along with everyone else you’re partnering with. After all, they want magic to happen too!

Now go make MAGIC Happen!!! :)

Please reach out to me to explore this topic further. Thanks!

This article was originally published on Medium. I’m sharing it here so my community has one place to access all of my writing and resources.

Getting to What Really Matters